Dum Laga Ke Haisha

Dum Laga Ke Haisha in Hindi means 'Give all your energy'.

Dum Laga Ke Haisha is also the name of  a new endearing and simple romantic-comedy Bollywood movie that I happened to watch on International Women's Day. 

It is about the marriage of Prem Prakash Tiwari (Ayushmann Khurrana) and Sandhya Verma (Bhumi Pedneker).

Spoiler-Alert- Note- This post reveals the plot, story and key scenes and lessons from the movie. Please don't read in case you wish to watch the movie.

Source

The movie is set in Haridwar and Rishikesh of 90's India when audio and video-cassettes & VCRs reigned and CDs had been newly introduced. 

It shows what a plump woman faces before and after marriage. She is judged by the 'size' of her 'body'.

Even her husband makes statements as follows-

To his friends & family- "Jab rang roop hi na bhaye kisika to kaise sweekar kar lu?" (How can I accept her when I don't like her colour or size?)

To his friend (about friend's wife)- "Kitni Sundar Bahu hai- ekdum fit. Swarg banegi teri zindagi" (Such a pretty wife - totally fit. Your life will be heaven.)

To his friends- "Ek raat bhi sona padey na Sandhya ke saath bistar mein, to pata chalega narak kise kehte hain." (If you have to sleep even for a night with Sandhya on the bed, then you'll know what is Hell.)

In the movie, the highly-qualified, English-knowing B.Ed. girl, Sandhya, is married off to a boy, who has failed in the English paper of Std X, and is managing an audio-cassette shop. 

It's a marriage of convenience for the boy's family as they want a cultured and educated girl, who can work and earn money to improve their financial-status.

                                                                        

Some stereotypes & expectations from a woman as compared to- what the heroine does in the movie!

1. She should be coy and should never speak her mind -  

In their first meeting, she asks how much her would-be-groom has studied. She tells her aunt-in-law that she's allergic to Marigold flowers despite the fact that the latter has decorated her bed with those! She tells her father-in-law that he has not raised his son properly as the latter doesn't know how to treat his wife with respect.

2. She cannot dance freely on her own wedding -  

She dances uninhibitedly.

3. She must not go shopping for those items that embarrass- 

She is "bold" enough to shop for her own lingerie and satin nightwear while others judge.

4. She should be a doormat and not make demands to her husband or  in-laws -  

She requests her father-in-law to set up TV & VCR so that she can watch an English movie in her room! She even invites her hubby to join her to watch. She is not shy to express her sexuality. Later, she requests her hubby to record a list of songs in a cassette. She demands dignity.

5. She must wake up before the rest of  the house -  

She wakes up after some people are up and sometimes, wakes up after her door has been knocked!

6. She must agree to her in-laws and husband's every word, take permission before taking decisions & must be non-assertive-  

She tells her husband that she dislikes if anyone stops or objects her rights or freedom. Whether it is visiting the library, correcting her hubby's English, squabbling with him on the Rickshaw or at the Court or taking up a job in another city, she does it all with elan!

7. She must treat husband as God- accept his misbehavior, forgive his slap, not file divorce-suit and get on with life at her in-laws place come what may -  

She does the opposite- slaps her husband, walks out of her husband's place, hires a lawyer & files a divorce-case against her husband & his family demanding a fine of Rs 50,000 for mental torture! She demands an apology from him.

8. She must accept insulting behaviour or words and not put up a war of words or protest -  

She does not allow anyone calling her "fat" or "bull" or "witch", not even her own brother. She takes on her aunt-in-law when the latter insults her. She plays the songs of her choice to counter her husband!  She fights for her own room in her parent's place post-marriage, removes her brother's items, placed in her absence from there and claims occupancy.

9. She must make all the adjustments & changes in her life viz. change her surname post-marriage -  

She sleeps on the bed while her husband sleeps on the floor! She retains her maiden name post-marriage and uses the same name when she registers for a contest named 'Dum Laga Ke Haisha' with her husband.

10. She must be a stereotype, a mute spectator and allow life to happen to her - 

She is a change-agent & wants to #MakeItHappen in her life.

Hoping & praying for women's empowerment.

Wishing for action for their status improvement.

May women be the smart decision-makers.

May they #MakeItHappen with all the powers!

Happy Women's Day!

                                                                                                     

http://www.internationalwomensday.com

Note- I feel all the above including changing maiden surname are stereotypes and expectations from a woman. Hope a woman has enough freedom and status to decide what she wants for herself.

Linking with- 
Blog-A-Rhythm - IWD #MakeItHappen

ABC Wednesday- I For International Women's Day

IndiSpire Edition#56- Should a woman change her maiden surname after marriage? #SurnameChange

Posted by Myself under Other Social Causes